The conflict mapping exercise has proven to be incredibly timely and immediately useful in my work. The university is currently trying to undertake several major initiatives that seem stalled and disorganized. I had been attributing this to our poor processes and lack of clear vision, but I now believe there may be more underlying power dynamics and conflicts at play than I had realized.
In a recent meeting, the lead of a project I am assisting with became incredibly defensive, frustrated, and almost hostile when asked some basic clarifying questions about the state of his project proposal. Behind the scenes, this colleague and I have been working closely on this project. I have advised him, reviewed his work, and provided him with extensive data. I felt that my actions consistently communicated, “I’m on your team and here to support you!” However, during the meeting, my questions were met with a response that stung. I left feeling confused and frustrated, as if the effort I had invested both relationally with this colleague and on this project was wasted.
By mapping all the stakeholders involved in this project, with the project lead at the center, I realized how little power and influence he actually has. Everyone else on the map, myself included, wields more power and outsized influence compared to him. He has a few shared power relationships, but they are in the minority. This mapping exercise gave me significant empathy and clarity regarding what my colleague (and friend) must feel when trying to lead a positive outcome while being in a room with all of us. The weight of his lack of power must be crushing at times, which helps explain his visceral reaction to criticism or obstacles.
Moving forward, my task is to figure out how to share some of my power with him and help others recognize the difficult position he is in. I don’t think anyone else is considering how little power he has. Instead, I hear comments like, “He’s the leader of the project; why isn’t he leading?” I am trying to gently suggest that we may have created a situation where he has been asked to do something very difficult, and his inability to accomplish it might have more to do with the rest of us than with him.
This has been such an eye-opening realization.
1 comment
Lindsay,
What incredible and useful insight you found from the conflict mapping! I would guess that so many of our conflicts have to do with who holds the power. I need to remember that as I find myself in those type of situations.