The one who thinks they know does not yet know as they ought to know, but the one who loves is known by God. When I think I know when I don’t yet know, or when I don’t yet know fully, I close the door to learning and to relationships.

I am a thinker first, not a do-er. I am also an internal processor. As I process, I’ve noticed that for issues I feel I already understand, I tend to move quickly to something else. If it’s an issue I know nothing about, I spend more time to want to know and to want to learn. It is akin to the system 1 and system 2 thinking that Daniel Kahneman speaks about in his book ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’. He tells us that our brains are lazy and prone to shortcuts, and the wiring to immediately take a short cut is when our brain tells us that ‘we have seen this before, it is familiar’, this is when System 1 kicks in. System 2 in contrast is deliberate, analytical and takes more effort and conscious reasoning.

One of the first statements that struck me in our time last week was when Jer said ‘‘our theology should be ever expanding to shape our heart for human concern’. My reaction, at least in thought, was immediate. ‘Yes, of course. I am a continuous learner with a growth mind-set. Yes, I resonate with that. And that is me. I have the mind-set to have an ever-expanding theology’. However, throughout the course of our morning, I caught myself at times having an ‘ever-shrinking’ mindset specific to what Nina was sharing. Not because I didn’t agree with her. In contrast I agreed with everything she said especially:

• The oppressor is caught up in a system of utilizing power. I need to pray for the oppressor. We are all capable of being an oppressor by adopting patterns of doing things.
• We can bludgeon people into change but what we are looking for is transformation; the goal is not compliance; it is for us to get free together.
• I have moved to language of ‘becoming’ vs. ‘producing and performance’; transforming; it’s not about learning about a system that helps you do things differently.
• There is little room for uncertainty or wonder in Evangelical Christianity – Jesus asked a whole lot of questions in the Bible.

I caught myself being closed off with the thought of ‘Yes, she’s right. But I already know that. I already know.’ This certainty in knowing is the stumbling block to me having an ever-expanding theology. It is the stumbling block that prompts an immediate reaction of judgment either of myself, or of others.

I’ll share a recent personal example. On a Saturday, I was in the car with my 14-year-old, Kai, on our way to volunteer at the Food Bank. Kai seemed irritable and annoyed, which I found odd since they were the one who suggested the activity. Despite asking several times, I got no answer as to why they were upset. I even asked what they were grateful for, but still received no response. I then suggested that Kai needed to be more appreciative of what they had. Implicit in my comment was the assumption that Kai’s annoyance stemmed from a sense of entitlement, as if they felt deprived of something. The truth is, I don’t know why Kai was upset. It could be typical adolescent mood swings, hormonal changes, or some deeper issue that they’re not ready or willing to discuss. Nevertheless, I was quick to attribute it to attitude. I wonder why I was so hasty to judge.

The following verses challenge and bring comfort to me:

• ‘The one who thinks they know do not yet know as they ought to know. But the one who loves is known by God.’ – 1 Corinthians 8:2
• ‘Who are you to judge someone else’s servant. To their own master they rise and fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.’ – Romans 14:4
• ‘Be completely humble and gentle with one another. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.’ – Ephesians 4:1-2

With these verses, I hear God saying to me that in order to truly have an ever-expanding theology, in order to seek peace for the oppressed and the oppressor, in order to move more towards becoming, in order for strategy to be an outflow of who I am, I need to do many things before I claim ‘knowing’. I need to breathe and be reminded that I have life and identity in the Creator Who is above all things. I need to pause and be comfortable in ‘not knowing’ and assume that I don’t know fully. I need to ask questions. I need to open a door, and I need to extend an invitation to the table and welcome another point of view. I need to be close in proximity with the ‘other’, my neighbor – in my heart and mind and physically. In these postures I can seek to know more fully guided by the wisdom and counsel of the Holy Spirit.

I was reading this Christianity Today article yesterday. I had an immediate reaction. I am by no means an expert in Middle East affairs or the history of the region. However, I have been trained to examine bias and objectivity, and this article did not have the markers to me of attempting to present a balanced point of view. As a ‘peacemaker in training’ trying to put into practice the lessons we learned last week, I asked myself what it would look like to approach (what posture to have) and think and then take action in response to this article. I don’t yet have an answer but am positing to my fellow sojourners and guides in this journey for us to consider asking these questions collectively, and for us to use this article as a real-life, real-time opportunity to both wrestle with the difficulty of the situation and ultimately ask where and how Jesus is working in all of this.

I do not yet know, but I am seeking to know more fully; and even before knowing, to love, as Christ would have us love.