When I signed my daughters up for soccer, it was with an organization with a beautiful intent: To bring kids together from all different backgrounds, to build character and connections as they kick at balls for a common goal. Yes, I thought, I will become a soccer mom for this!
Fast forward to last weekend, when I found myself adding up 2 hours of car time to get to two different fields (and back for cleats left behind) to cheer on a team of lovely, strong and bright, blonde girls. (There are some brunettes too.) The parents are lovely too, and all had the intention of signing their girls up to be with kids… NOT like us. But here we were, nice white families with the field all to ourselves, again.
I have the privilege of taking time off work to drive to soccer, to bring snacks, to navigate ANOTHER app to keep the schedule straight and to drive 2 hours in support of my daughters’ soccer commitments. But, in all that my intent with soccer was hindered yet again by the ease of my privilege and machine of white America normalcy.
There was a phrase stated early on in the learning process of this journey of “going at a walking pace together.” It has stayed with me and I have pondered what a walking pace looks like in life when I am rushing and habitually late for something. And, when I am wanting to see change now.
Ben McBride spoke of the work of reconciliation as those who built those amazing cathedrals in Europe. Masons, architects, and artists of all specialties labored for countless hours, years on end, towards a vision of a building they would never live to step inside. In an America, where our Nation’s history is newer than some of those cathedrals, what does it take for us to patiently work at something we will never live to see? And like Ben McBride asked, what do I need to change to become what want the future to look like? What does it mean for me and my family to leverage or even give up our privilege and seek downward mobility that others may rise?
It’s a walking pace. I have sent out a few texts, made a few coffee dates to lean into relationship I already have that have felt off or in need of reconciliation. I have prayed my rage, restlessness, boredom and impatience. I have hijacked many polite conversations to talk about the divides, the inequity, the need for voices and people who are NOT in our midst. And in a step here or there, I have looked up to see that I am not where I began; that is the nature of walking. The setting around us may seem to change slowly, but if we keep walking, we move forward.
And back to Cathedrals. While I work with the skills and resources I have, I am finding others working around me, with the same vision. A piece I am working on fits with the efforts of another builder near me. I cannot forget that the God I believe in is the quite skilled in the art reconciliation. The vision is cast by the Master Architect/Craftsperson. The relationships, self-correction, learning and unlearning and expansion of the workers takes time. But like building anything, there are moments when some pieces fit together and you get a glorious glimpse of the larger thing you are working toward.
I believe someday soon my daughters will play soccer with refugees. And that is a step.
1 comment
I love the idea of each person working with the skills and resources they have and catching glimpses of how the different pieces fit together. It’s a good reminder for me as I often look around at what others are doing and feel like my little part doesn’t measure up. But it’s not about comparison; it’s about collaboration. Thanks for the reminder!