Prior to adopting a lens of peacemaking: the primary way to remain sustained or centered was through careful dosing of work environment and then escape: i.e. Work as little as possible. Spend time with people who are supportive and understanding, trying not to talk ‘shop’.  For me: exercising outdoors as much as possible with hikes and bike rides. Compress and then decompress in seemingly endless cycles.

“Burnout” avoidance emerges as a primary goal. Waves of frustration bury the urgency for change.

The longer you spend with a monster, the higher the likelihood of getting eaten alive.

No one is looking for a peacemaking voice in healthcare.

As I embark on a reconciling leader journey, the application of this work to a secular healthcare landscape is largely unknown and uncharted as far as I have experienced.

It is a great gift to have no external expectations. To paraphrase Nina: my desire will fuel my transforming. I have space to allow this.

As I am transforming, I wonder: Can I lean in with curiosity, humility and openness? Can I avoid allowing my frustration and fears drive me to look for escape? Can I see as a peacemaker sees – my patients, colleagues, hospital administrators, insurance companies – in order to grow my desire for transformation inside and out?

My transforming journey is uncharted, and the new centering and sustaining forces are similarly opaque.