As time went by and life became more complex and mundane, we began to see the differences emerge. I’m a perpetual optimist. He recognizes the possible pitfalls in any situation. I love to be around people and fill my schedule. He has a lower threshold for social interaction. I carry my emotions right at the surface. He leads with logic.

At times, I thought these differences were liabilities. At times, we’ve felt stuck in the same disagreements, doing the same dance over and over again, causing friction as our fears, habits, and perspectives rub up against each other. But as I sit and reflect on 10 years of marriage, I realize that the differences were not liabilities. They were assets that we didn’t know we needed.

As we’ve learned to see one another more fully, appreciating the unique gifts of the other and holding the brokenness with gentleness and grace, we’ve each been transformed. We’ve helped each other become truer versions of ourselves. We’ve brought balance where there was disequilibrium. We’ve filled in where there were gaps. Where the differences once felt like cracks, we’ve allowed them to make each one of us more whole.

This is reconciliation – to allow the difference, the pain, and the brokenness to draw us into deeper communion rather than permitting it to push us apart. It doesn’t come easy. It takes work and intention. It requires us to lay down our lives for one another. It takes humility to recognize our faults and vulnerability to admit them. It requires grace to see the good in one another even when we’ve been hurt. Reconciliation comes at a cost as we give up our high ground, but the reward is so much sweeter and more satisfying as we meet each other in the middle and find we are each lifted up in the process.

Featured Image by Nick Fewings on Unsplash