I have had the opportunity to observe two ceremonies of gathering soil samples of lynching sites in my county.  The organization, Volusia Remembers Coalition, provided a powerful presentation so that we would visualize and feel the violence the victims of horrendous lynchings experienced.  As I visited the EJI Peace & Justice Memorial later that year, those stories stayed with me as I walked through reading the names of those who had been lynched.  They were not just names – they had a story…they were beloved and they had experienced violence. I need to always remember that there is a beloved person behind each victim of racism.  I need to learn their story.

As an everyday peacemaker, not only should I know the stories of violence and hate but I also have to dig deeper to hear and understand the stories of resistance and resilience.  Those are the stories that are often not told or are left out of the history books (especially here in Florida!). These are the stories that help me to see the targets of racial violence as images of God, as Beloved and not just victims.  These are the stories that will help me move from just expressing mercy to fighting for justice.

Living in an area often affected by hurricanes, it is always interesting to see which trees were uprooted by the gale winds.  You would think it would be the trees with minimal roots but sometimes the trees with deep, outreaching roots are still lifted out of the ground and destroyed.  Roots are not a guarantee that life will not be tossed and turned!

As I reflect on what keeps me rooted in God’s belovedness I realize that the spiritual practices that help me are always evolving.  I think it is so important to recognize what is working and what to let go of.  And as much as I would love to think that once I claim being God’s beloved that I am all set, I also know that this is an ongoing journey.

Here are three things that are speaking truth to me right now:

My soul is filled by reading – good fiction, the Gospel, liturgy and spiritual writers.  One of the anchors that keeps me centered as the beloved is to find those spiritual writers who speak that truth into my soul.  Right now, it is writers like Sarah Bessey, Kate Bowler, Nadia Bolz-Weber and Emily P. Freeman.  I have such gratitude for their vulnerability and wisdom.

“The world tries to dim our eyes, and quiet our song, but the truth of who you are is found in the eyes of God, not the eyes of the world.  The truth of who you are is found in the love of your God  – the God who created this world and called it Good…Only the God who knows and loves you fully can tell you who you are. And who you are is loved and worthy to be loved.”  Nadia Bolz-Weber

Secondly, I meet weekly with a group of three other friends who are also on a journey of discovering their worthiness and belovedness.  We are honest and vulnerable with each other.  They are very willing to speak truth to me – including reminding me of my belovedness when I express doubt.

And finally, when this cruel world tells me that I am not worthy or beloved, one thing I do is to pause, speak a breath prayer, and place my hand on my forehead and remind myself that God has claimed ME as His beloved.

What happens when you lose sight of whose and who you are? 

I recognize when I have lost sight of my belovedness when I am angry at the world, angry at those who normally don’t make me angry, angry at those who are trying to love me. That’s when I know I need to pull back, look within, and be reminded again and again that I am so loved by God and by so many others.