Elizabeth Neumann’s image of the raging fire hit home. I feel like in our society now there are two big camps: there is one side cheering as everything burns down, naively thinking that they’ll be spared and everything that’s burning deserves to burn. On the other side, they are horrified and know there will be casualties, but they also somehow think the fire will be contained by the ‘first responders’ …and then, we can rebuild everything back as it was (before the fire started)…including the electric station that sparked the fire to begin with. Both sides seem to ignore the reality that we will all be scorched and there is no building back as before.
Elisabeth Neumann also helped me to understand one of the things I’ve been wrestling with these past months. She said something about how it’s the people on your own side that can give you the most trouble. I have several close friends who are very intelligent, objective, well-read and who pride themselves on their measured responses and academic analysis rather than emotional responses. But in recent months I’ve been shocked and confused when I tried to gently present them with a point of view – often a point of view that was similar to things that they themselves had said – that was presented in a way and by someone who was outside of the style or profile that they deemed credible or respectable. What I found so upsetting is that they didn’t argue the ideas themselves as I would have expected, with the kind of intellectual integrity that they stand for and admire, but rather they made snide remarks that dismissed the person and ridiculed them. It seemed petty and unworthy of their usual “fairness”.
After listening to Elizabeth I realized that these friends (with whom I agree with on many political issues) have an attachment to their tribe. That tribe speaks a certain way, presents ideas in a certain way with a certain vocabulary. There are codes to how emotions can be expressed. Someone who does not fit in with that tribe is threatening and they will protect that tribe, sometimes by ridiculing or dismissing the person or people who are outside. They will not hear or receive the content that is being expressed by a person that doesn’t pass their litmus test of legitimacy.
I have heard one of these friends say “I know it’s terrible to say, but if all of those MAGA people were killed, I think that would be a good thing.” This is someone who rescues animals and comes from a family that has fought extensively for racial equality, human rights, etc. I thought of Elisabeth’s definition of extremism as resorting to violence to solve the problems of outside groups.
Last night my Uber driver bringing me back from the airport made jokes about a machine gun in my violin case and ammo in my suitcase. I made a joke back and he said “Ah, I didn’t scare you off!” He had a look about him (clothes, way of talking) that made me assume he was a supporter of the current president. He made a few more remarks that confirmed that. He also said “I’ve never been to jail, though I could have gone several times.” He told me he had a one-year-old, a three-year-old, and another baby on the way. He claimed some guy with a gun hid in his building recently until the police found him and said he wants to move because he’s scared for his wife and children, scared of drug addicts hanging around his building. I felt awkward and as if I came from another world. How good am I at being able to have a simple conversation with someone way outside of my tribes? I felt both a little scared of him and touched by him, by the struggles he expressed. I thought of a talk I recently heard by the priest Fr. Greg Boyle who spoke about a former gang member he worked with and everything he had gone through in his childhood and his life. Fr. Greg said something like “I had compassion and admiration for him. Life had asked him to carry things that I don’t think I could carry.”
I agree with the image of the fire. It’s burning and I feel like we need to accept it first, accept that nothing will be the same going forward, and maybe, just maybe something new can be born out of this. She said it would take a long, long time. I agree, that’s likely. My hope though, is that with God’s grace, miracles can happen… and perhaps new ideas can take hold in enough people, and things can change faster than we dream.
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Thank you Colin for sharing this: “I had compassion and admiration for him. Life had asked him to carry things that I don’t think I could carry.” What a powerful challenge for us to consider that people have life paths put upon them, not always of their choosing. When a way of living is all that you have ever seen or known, how would you know that there is any other way? I want to add this quote and question to help me consider how MAGA proponents arrived at their beliefs.