I tend to process things slowly and internally. I can often sense that I am working through something, that something is stirring within me, but I usually have trouble articulating or even understanding what it is until much later, and I think that is the case for me now. Sitting here, trying to push myself to write something (a week late and when I feel like I don’t have time), I genuinely can’t name it. But it’s there. There is something new on the horizon. A new calling. A new work. An activation of a part of myself and my work that is churning somewhere deep in my being. I came to this cohort already sensing it, hoping that the time and space that this would create might help bring it to the surface. I can feel progress. I can’t really name it yet.
I think I need to engage more fully between our sessions. I need to make the time to write and read these reflections earlier, so that I’m not just dropping into this for a few days every two weeks, but instead allowing this cohort to stir me more consistently over the remaining months. I need to force myself to do this – to write. Some here, maybe some elsewhere. Writing has been the way things have surfaced for me in the past, and I think it will be how things will surface again in the future. Writing takes time and energy, which I am often lacking, but I think I need to elevate it among my long list of priorities.
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Well this is exciting to hear for you as well! And I fully understand the importance of writing for processing. When I make the time and space, physically and mentally, to sit and journal for reflection, I have the sense that this creates the opportunity for me to hear God’s whispers.
One of the practices we have adopted with our pastoral team at work is to hold each other accountable to take 1 hour per week along with another 4 hour block of time each month for “spiritual care”. This is when I do my reflective writing. For me to do this, I have to schedule it like I would schedule any other meeting/appointment. It feels much easier to keep this “appointment” knowing that God consistently shows up!
I’ll be praying God shows you where this intention of your heart fits into your life in this season!