Comments on: Repair

By: Kelly Fassett

Kelly Fassett — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 12:35:52 +0000

Thanks Jenna, I too have been thinking a lot about the process of repair and what that looks like / entails. I appreciate your honesty in how things didn’t go well and interrogating our own postures to reduce harm. Still looking for concrete resources / tools on the process of repair so would love to see those if anyone has one.

By: Brigid Smith

Brigid Smith — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 10:29:41 +0000

Thank you for this, Jenna. It reminds me of what you shared last time about telling yourself you were safe in the midst of hard conversations. I was so blessed to hear that you were able to be present in a new way. I experienced my own causing of harm and the need to listen without flinching when our trans daughter came out to us and she and her younger sister were super angry with me for a while. I found that I could bear listening to what I had done wrong and how I had hurt my children, because I had to! It was excruciating, but I kept telling myself; whatever they say, I will sit here and hear them. I will not flinch or run away. It was a good start. And it eventually started to make space for love again. I think the loss of control (not that I ever had any, but I thought I did!) is one of the hard things about these reckonings. I can’t control how they see me or judge me. I can’t control when or if they respond to my efforts to love. I have to let it be ugly and in limbo for a while.

By: Colin Pip Dixon

Colin Pip Dixon — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 06:27:17 +0000

Jenna, this is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing this so simply and with such openness. I feel for you and this situation. It’s made me reflect on the ways I have inadvertently hurt someone… several examples have come back to me, and yes, it’s painful.

It’s also made me think about how I’ve evolved over time… when I was younger I was very judgmental of the people who were in positions of power over me whenever I saw that they did something wrong. Then, later on, when I found myself in positions of responsibility I found myself making similar mistakes. I think these experiences have helped to open my heart more and be less ready to judge anyone in any position of responsibility. Thank you for reminding me of that quote from Nina Barnes about aspirational selves and real selves… that speaks a lot to me too. Did she also say something like “in this life we’re going to keep bumping up against one another”. As I read your words I found myself praying “She did her part, Lord…she tried as best she could…now, Lord, you can make all things right?” I pray that this is just the middle of the story, and God will surprise you both somewhere down the line…?

By: Kassandra Quick-Vana

Kassandra Quick-Vana — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 04:27:39 +0000

Thanks Jenna for sharing this vulnerable situation. It would certainly have been much easier on you emotionally if you had just chosen to ignore the promptings to seek repair. But you didn’t and that is a sign of the transforming work that happens as we learn from our past and are equipped in new ways for our future!