I really appreciated our time with Nina. There are so many things I’m still chewing on. This exercise of identifying values was really challenging and surprisingly emotional for me. I think I’ve lost touch with these parts of myself (for a million reasons) so I felt some grief in it. Here’s my best attempt:

Wholeness Realized – Everything in me yearns for people, places, systems, structures to be whole. I feel very strongly that wholeness being realized is the work God has invited us to do while we’re here on earth together. 

Because I so deeply value wholeness, I can easily see and sense what’s broken. At times I can be too focused on that and lose sight of the work. I can sometimes confuse wholeness with perfection and can easily get caught in a cycle of perfectionism. 

Connection/Community – One of my favorite feelings is walking away from an interaction knowing there was a sense of mutual connection. That’s one of my favorite things about being a human. I love creating that for people. To me, connection is the spark for community to form. Community reminds us we don’t do anything alone. 

I’m an introvert that loves (and needs) moments of solitude to feel like myself. I very rarely feel sad when something gets cancelled haha. I am sensitive around whether or not I belong in a place. This part of me can sometimes be in conflict with this value. I’d also add I am trying to walk away from the delusion of individualism, independence and self reliance found in white supremacy culture. I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t get caught in it. 

Creativity – I love rhythm but there are few things that irritate me more than rigid, tired systems that can’t move or bend to meet something new. I love re-evaluating and shifting as change happens so that creativity can make something new. 

With a more introverted personality, I sometimes feel like I lack the energy creativity requires. 

Integrity – A phrase I’ve always been driven by is, “make sure your insides match your outsides.” I am very aware of when that’s not happening in myself or within the organizations/systems I’m a part of. 

I tend to be high on people pleasing so it can be difficult for me to say hard things to people when I know it will sting, potentially result in them leaving community, if I messed up and my learning comes at cost to another…it feels like I’m acting outside of my integrity even though I know saying the hard thing is actually what will keep me aligned. 

Fun & Humor – this one isn’t super deep. I just love to have fun and laugh and think the world needs more of this. 

Because I tend to be drawn to the more serious, deep things in life I can sometimes forget that a good laugh might be what’s needed to bring balance and a reminder that there is still so much good.