I’m so sorry I’ve been slow to post. Naming my five values has been tough… and it feels vulnerable to write them like this. How quickly I find myself getting complicated and my ego gets involved. I suppose my identity feels  intertwined with what I say my values are.

One of the main things that led me to the Cohort was my composition/work “Invocation – a prayer for peace”, which has been an important part of my creative life for many years. As I struggled with naming values, it came to me “but you’ve already named them in Invocation”. Invocation is a music setting of writings, prayers and poems from different faiths and cultures around the themes of violence and peace. Maybe I find it easier to hide behind the words of others? Here are some quotes that I set to music in Invocation which speak to my core values: 

1. From the Russell-Einstein Manifesto: “We implore you as human beings to human beings, remember your humanity and forget the rest.” This feels so primary for me. If we (if I) can only remember that we are all made of the same stuff…and that we are all capable of extraordinary good, but also extraordinary evil, this would take care of so many difficulties. It’s my job to let go of everything that gets in the way of  seeing fellow human beings as my kin, no matter who they are. 
2. From Rabia Terri Harris (Muslim Peace Fellowship) “Let us stop claiming to know everything, so that we may understand something.” The desire in me to think I know and to be right always creeps up, but understanding – real understanding – only happens when I’m willing to enter into that space of “I don’t know” and I’m willing to question what I think I know. With everything that’s going on in the country right now I feel like we are in a crisis of truth. Seeking truth requires me to be in love with truth more than with myself or with my clan… and it is demanding and difficult. It asks for patience and understanding and it is a constant journey. Truth and understanding often reveal themselves slowly.
3. From Frederick Douglas: “No man can put a chain around the ankle of another man without at last finding the other end of it fastened about his own neck.” This one resonates strong in my gut – I know that anything I do (individually or collectively) to hurt, belittle or nullify another ultimately imprisons me just as much as it does them, if not more.
4. From Etty Hillesum (Dutch, Jewish Woman who kept an extraordinary diary in Amsterdam during WWII and died in Auchwitz). “I no longer believe I can change anything in the world until I first change myself.” I think that the HOW is just as important as the WHAT – everything I do is colored by how I do it and who I am inside. If I try to heal a relationship or bring more peace into a situation without attending to my own non-peace or inner wounds, I will only exacerbate the friction.
5. From the Chandogya Upanishad (Hindu 8th – 6th c. BCE) “There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond all of us […] This is the light that shines in our hearts.” I truly believe and experience that I need to constantly check-in with and reconnect with that light and greater wisdom somewhere within me. The “still, small voice…” And when I do, I am humbled by what happens and unfolds, and when I don’t things tend to fall apart and neurosis takes over.

When I violate these values, is there something that regularly trips me up? I think it’s often fear. Fear of not being loved or appreciated, so I have to impress and impose… fear of rejection… so I need to take control… fear of everything being chaos and not trusting that there is a loving God in control… fear that there isn’t enough and I need to assure I get my part… fear that I’m under attack and in danger and that ultimately we are all separate.  And when I am able to live these values something inside of me grows and expands… I can breathe more freely. When I violate them I become smaller, tighter, darker and things start falling apart.