I have multiple pages of notes from Nina Barnes’ session. What a rich and valuable time! It was helpful for me to pull out a few highlights so I wanted to share them here: 

1. 1. The journey we’re on is the gap between the aspirational self and becoming formed in the image of Christ. We have to see the things that are preventing our aspirational selves, and reflect on them instead of denying them or making excuses, knowing that we are human and will make mistakes. I really think that this is absolutely crucial – what the world needs is not people who are “perfect” or “right” but authentic – people who are willing to show up vulnerability and confess wrongdoing.
   2. The need for both being and doing.  It’s eye-opening to remember that “even the demons believe” (James 2:19); we have to go from belief to Christ-like living. I tend to be more action-oriented, and I know that I need to take in what is happening in my interior life and slow down, not immediately jumping to action or application, knowing there is not one “silver bullet” that will solve everything. 
   3. Upholding the central ethic of love to combat the evil of dehumanization. The root of evil is when an image bearer of God is being dehumanized. We can agree to disagree as long as my disagreement doesn’t deny others humanity or cause harm. One of the primary spheres where dehumanization is taking place today is in the political sphere. We can’t separate politics from the lived realities that so many are facing; we can be apartisan but not apolitical.
   4. Conflict isn’t bad, it just is; we can get to some beautiful places if we stay in the tension of the conflict rather than ignoring it or jumping to resolve it.  There are times we need to call one another out, as niceness kills people. We can say, “I love you too much to let this relationship go, and I love you too much to just play nice alongside each other; that’s just a shadow of what our relationship has been.” If it’s all about the niceties then there’s no real intimacy and sense of belonging to one another. Peace isn’t an absence of tension; but rather emerges when people stay in relationship through conflict whenever possible considering safety.
   5. Our unity is derived from loving God and neighbor fully, no exceptions. Unity is not conformity; we don’t have to think the same or have the same values; but we should agree on this central love ethic of upholding love of God and neighbor as our North Star.

Here are four of my top values; how I tend to respond and a mantra I’m going to use to try to help me get out of my ruts:

1. Imago Dei: I strive to treat everyone as made in God’s image, knowing that the truest thing about them is that they are a beloved child of God and bestowed with immeasurable divine worth.

What trips me up is when people don’t show me or others this same respect and kindness. I have the tendency to want to lash back or vilify them rather than responding in love. I can also tend to rush by people towards some “goal,” seeing people as impediments that are getting in my way. I need to slow down to treat all I encounter as beloved. I especially see this tendency to rush happening with my kids. I also can fall in the trap of seeing the hard things in life as projects to “ fix” rather than sitting in the hard stuff with them. 

Mantra: The truest thing about this person is that they are a beloved child of God. How can I uphold their belovedness here and now? How can I receive the image of God that they carry?

2. Humble Integrity: I embrace the truth that I am never fully right and always partially wrong (thanks for this one Global Immersion!). I strive to be a person of integrity with the same character wherever I go – in public and in “secret.” I commit to confessing wrongdoing when I make mistakes and intentionally upholding structures of accountability in my leadership.

What trips me up is my own pride, an unwillingness to acknowledge that I may have not done things the right/best way, and a defensiveness that creeps up when things are brought to my attention. I want to work on pausing when I feel this coming up and leaning in to hear what they are saying rather than trying to defend my actions or character, knowing that I need this feedback in my life to see more clearly and be the person God has called me to be.

Mantra: I am never fully right and always partially wrong. What am I not seeing? Who else do I need to hear from?

3. Justice is higher than unity, and love is higher than justice: We can be united around anything, but if systemic dimensions aren’t considered, then we can be promoting unjust unity. Unity without justice is oppression in disguise. And even justice isn’t the end – it can mean adherence to laws that are often “slippery.” Only God’s pure love can ensure just unity.

I have learned how much my own privilege and white socialization has impacted how I live in the world and operate. I find it hard to hold my value for unity and my value for justice in tension. I am a peacemaker, yet there is a difference between “standing in the gap” to bear witness to Christ’s reconciling work and both-sides-ing. I am seeking to understand when/where/how this line exists personally and also how to differentiate my own calling with the mission of our organization.

Mantra: How can I be a peacemaker and mend divides by upholding unity, justice, and love?

4. Life is an adventure, enjoy this very moment. I’m a “7” on the Enneagram and also am high on the 9 peacemaking type. This means I love adventure and planning things to “fulfill” me, and I’m also driven to bring healing and peace to deep places of pain and rupture in our world.

I can fall into the trap of getting too single-minded in my pursuits, blowing over the people in the way and letting life pass me by. I can also get too obsessed about planning the experiences that will “fulfill me” instead of taking time to savor in the moment and enjoy the journey. I want to continue working on cherishing every little moment by pausing to find God’s graces wherever I am and with the people I am with.

Mantra: Stop and savor THIS very moment.

This was a really helpful exercise; I’m curious how it relates to creating a rule of life?