That’s great, Shelby! In our becoming, I believe it’s vital that we celebrate how far we’ve come. (I’m pretty terrible at this.) Thanks be to God for the growth you’re able to recognize.

“What do healthy boundaries in the context of reconciliation look like?”
“How do we encourage wise emotional labor when doing the work of reconciling/forgiving/peacemaking?”

For myself, it can become disheartening listening a world of news that sometimes only feels negative. “where is the hope?” is a question i’m always asking. As far as your second question, I loved reading Osheta’s “Dear White Peacemaker” as it reminded me to recognized how everyone is beloved. Without this reminder, I am afraid I would be driven to anger or hate as a tool for reconciliation rather than empathy.

Thank you for sharing the exact quote– so powerful. I’m going to write that one down too.

Such a beautiful question, Steve! I see growth in my ability to be gentle with myself when I am hurting. I see an increased willingness to be authentic, messy, and incomplete… and to invite other people into that. I see so much growth around allowing all of the feelings in myself and others. I see growth in welcoming emotions as wise and neutral tutors, rather than some as good and others as bad.

I too believe Ruth’s thoughts on grappling with and being formed by our pain are powerful, important, and really challenging. There are times when I’ve experienced pain that helped to shape me, polishing away my ego, perfectionism, and dualistic thinking. And there are times when I’ve experienced pain that completely broke something inside of me.

While you acknowledge that this is an ongoing process for you, I wonder … at this point in your journey, where have you seen growth/progress/new life (whatever word you might use to describe it)?

Boy have I found that to be true in my life. As much as I’d like to avoid pain, in hindsight I can see how it has shaped me in positive ways and how it can be used to hopefully help others. I also find that I’m drawn to people who have been through some difficult stuff and I that I can more easily trust them.