Part of me feels like a little child trying to find words when there is so much to take in and absorb!
It felt good… and mysterious to meet everyone and to wonder: what will be born out of our coming together? Who will we all be 6 months from now? …for each other? Perhaps it is one of the few things that has given me hope in the last weeks, connecting with others who seek to find another way… a way out of the gospel of security and safety to a gospel of mercy and compassion (as someone in the group said). That, in itself, is significant—so few people around me seem to want to even want this…
Dr. Padilla DeBorst said that she has never known a period like this one, in its global implications and the chaos that’s being generated. I was grateful to her for expressing that. The timing of our cohort’s beginning feels important and also like a big challenge.
I was moved by Dr. Padilla DeBorst talking about the migrants’ journey up North… and now back down again (it was the going South that really hit me, because I can only imagine that there is nothing more discouraging than backtracking after shattered hopes). News and social media flood us with information, but hearing firsthand about her community’s house for migrants, now thrown into turmoil, felt grounding. So many words are spun in different directions, but hearing direct, lived experiences from someone navigating them with integrity was worth a lot.
I lived in France for 14 years. I was a privileged “immigrant” since I was there by choice and not out of need. At the same time, the annual renewal of my papers as a freelance musician was difficult and precarious. I was given a small taste of what it can be like to have your whole life questioned by a random person sitting behind a desk. The small doses of indifference (and sometimes cruelty) that I experienced in that system gave me a glimpse of what others endure a thousand times over.
I remember sitting for hours in big immigration rooms with desperate people (many from former French colonies in Africa or the Middle East), feeling the palpable fear in the air.… and I couldn’t understand why, because of my passport, the color of my skin, or the strength of my country’s currency… why should I be treated as a more worthy human by the system? Dr. Padilla DeBorst’s comments on Western narratives being seen as the only ones worth telling resonated deeply, thanks to these experiences and others.
There appears to be unending ways in which the people in power now are talking about our brothers and sisters (of all sorts) as if they were worthless, and that creates an ache in my gut that often verges on a feeling of nausea these days.
I am currently at a loss and seeking. “Lord, what would you have me do?” I don’t have any answers. So much of what was shared by Dr. Padilla DeBorst and by everyone felt important and I am grateful for that.
I was also touched by her take on Jesus healing the woman who was bleeding… that He not only healed her but He also “outed” her, in spite of her sense of shame around her condition…and that He did so to reintegrate her into society. These insights helped me to identify with her in an unexpected way. The society we live in now feels insane. May He re-integrate us now in unexpected ways that lifts us ALL up and renews our compassionate hearts.
5 comments
Colin thank you for sharing this, it helps me know you better and want to know you even better 🙂
Colin, I love your sharing about your experience as a “privileged immigrant”. I have a good friend who is currently living and working in Nicaragua and she expresses similar observations about her ongoing experiences with her “immigrant” status. I resonate with your questioning God about what our response/action might be related to the current plight of immigrants in my community. I too pray we find the way forward on loving and serving them well while making meaningful strides toward resolving a very broken system!
Thank you for this, Colin. I, too, feel such deep sadness for those who are emigrating under duress and with no support – I have lived in France, England and Germany and always had some support getting settled. Even so, we ran into surprising roadblocks and unkind staff in each place. I can’t imagine what our refugee and poor immigrant siblings are going through. I am also hopeful and curious that we are meeting now of all times, and I hope and pray we can encourage one another into love and perseverance – together.
Appreciate you sharing about your immigration experience. My wife found herself unexpectedly in the midst of a crowd of people at the post office where they also have some passport services in the first week of the new administration. She said there was a palpable sense of fear and urgency in the room as a dozen or so people, all with immigrant status, were turned away because the services they needed weren’t available at that location. I think many of us feel the chaos and fear while still buffered from it a bit, and it’s both distressing and helpful to have these first-hand accounts that help us recognize the depth of the impact of changing immigration policies on the lives of people who may have their entire lives upended.
Well said, Colin! I appreciate the perspective you provided as someone who has experienced the anxiety felt through another country’s immigration system and your empathy for those who are suffering.
I resonate with the struggle to understand how our political system could perpetuate the falsehood that “western narratives are the only ones worth telling” and the sense of paralysis over how to change it. I wonder along with you at the unique timing of this cohort and what it might be preparing us for. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and I’m looking forward to getting to know you more as a fellow musician and Oregonian!