I’ve been thinking, speaking, teaching, and preaching a lot lately on integrity – living lives that reflect who we claim to be, what we claim to believe, and most importantly, the one we claim to follow. The chasm between the values and beliefs we profess and our actions seems to grow wider with each passing moment. And somehow, we seem unbothered by this.
My wife and I teach Confirmation (6th-8th grade) together and a couple weeks ago we learned about the idea of “Freedom of a Christian”. We discussed how through Christ’s faithfulness we are set completely free from sin, shame, fear, and death, and this frees us for love, compassion, empathy, and service to our neighbors. Intellectually, the students seemed to grasp this concept well. They could share with us what this might actually look like … to use their freedom to benefit those around them, rather than themselves. Then we moved into small groups. In small group time, many of the students were rude and disrespectful to their fellow students and the adult leaders. They talked over one another. They said hurtful things to each other. After this class, I had one adult leader express to me that she didn’t know if she could continue in that role.
What is happening in and among our Confirmation students is a microcosm of what we are seeing in our communities and our nation. How can we claim to follow Jesus, who taught and demonstrated self-sacrificial love, humble service, welcome to the outsider, and yet selfishly grasp for power, wealth, and comfort, and at the same time, condone orders and policies that have and will harm millions of vulnerable people around the world? How do we as leaders bridge this gap between are minds and our hearts – between our beliefs and our actions?
This is my ever-deepening ache.
6 comments
Thank you for sharing your ache, Steve! Your post makes me wonder more about the gaps you’ve identified: Between freedom from and freedom for, between freedom and bondage, between our minds and hearts. How do we navigate the paradox of living ideals as very imperfect humans? What does sitting in the messy middle look like? How do we repair when we’ve been the kids in your story? How do we teach that repair in a way that is meaningful and practical? Those are some of my wonderings I’m sitting with.
Yes, I’ve been that kid and sometimes I still am. So often, I have to take myself back to the “Adolescent Brain” course I took in seminary, and remember what’s going on (and what isn’t) in the teenage brain.
What is happening in and among our Confirmation students is a microcosm of what we are seeing in our communities and our nation.
Steve – I find this to be true in my students as well, along with hearing this from many others who are presently in the student ministry space. Discouraging for sure but how could it be any different when our students are simply following the lead of the culture they are immersed in outside of the 1 or 2 hours each week that they are in the house of the Lord. Thank you for the good work that you and your wife are doing to teach them truth and call them to a higher standard and better way. We take hope in remembering that God is not finished with them yet!
“We take hope in remembering that God is not finished with them yet” … and all of us! Thank you for the reminder, Kassandra!
This is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing what you’re experiencing, I’m going to pray for your kids and their families right now. And for you and your fellow leaders. How do we embody the heart of Jesus, the Way of Jesus to our young people right now? Lord, show us the way.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for the prayers, Brigid!