The trenches of my peacemaking practice are fraught with nuance, consequence, and questions. The language, people, and considerations vary drastically. In one circumstance using language related to faith is necessary and yet in another it immediately raises defenses. In another circumstance, the people expect me to ask hard questions, probe, and invite deeper reflection, and in the other such attempts are viewed as attacks. The relational, monetary, and reputational considerations are present in almost all circumstances. Is it leading to questions of, “why me? Is it necessary? Am I to plant seeds or harvest? Is this my own bias or a real issue? Is the cost worth it?”

With all of the variance found in the trenches I often struggle to see outright glowing hope, but perhaps glimmers. I am often encouraged by the openness I find amongst leaders who have historically not entered into these spaces. I see younger generations stand up for and want solutions that are not only benefiting one party. And yet, I also see people’s passion quickly descend into a frenzy and scarcity mentality. I see language co-opted and lose meaning, taking tools away from folks who desperately need them. I see people’s fear of being “canceled” or pushed out keeps them from speaking freely, exploring, or even asking questions. The risk to one’s reputation and livelihood feel at risk from even the smallest disagreement. Perhaps the thing that generates the most anxiety for me is the impact my choices will have on my child. If the relational risk will hurt him because he doesn’t understand, and with the internet,I am so mindful of how to engage in a space that lives forever and is easily called up as evidence in attacks. Will my words, actions, or positions be ever used to hurt or harm him?