The “Mapping” and “pillars” exercise that we learned from Michael was helpful for me as I reflected on a situation from some years back.  I was asked by my Bishop to participate in a “listening session”.   A colleague pastor was verbally abusing his small rural congregation and the flock was extremely upset.  The Bishop chose, before making a decision on what needed to happen, to engage a group of 5 listeners (I was one) to spend an evening hearing the congregations members.    We met as a team before the session, then each of us was assigned to a room where we met one-to-one with members.  We listened.  They vented and vented…..such turmoil and so many painful emotions….then there was a final meeting for all…..and a brief session for our team with the Bishop who would be making a decision about this pastor.  (The pastor was removed and – I think?  offered some type of therapy)

What I took from this experience was the need for this deep listening time.   These people had been treated badly and needed healing…the team….how the evening went down….the final decision….and the subsequent “interim” time for this congregation was very well thought out and compassionately handled.

It occurred to me as I was drawing the map that the exercise of drawing and identifying the various emotions is – in itself – helpful to distance from the emotion of a conflict and begin to get a handle of how to proceed.  This situation was not especially complex – the Bishop had the final “say” in the decision, but it helped to see how it looked on paper.  This is a great tool – and might be good for personal relationships just as much as big organizations.