THANKSGIVING: As I reflect and plan, I have been filled with gratitude for my early faith formation. From the age of 12 to 22 I had the privilege of attending a Presbyterian Church that was led by my uncle. My uncle, as a pastor and as a man, demonstrated love and inclusivity in mighty ways that had quite the impact on me. He demonstrated his belief that all are beloved and deserving of a safe and healthy life so profoundly that the KKK noticed and burned a cross in his front yard. Along with the help of a mother and extended family that lived out those values also, I grew up seeing everyone as beloved.
When I stepped back into church life at the age of 30, my husband and I were swept up in the life of a church that was very loving and supportive. I have always been proud to be part of the Presbyterian Church USA denomination, a denomination that took great risks to make sure that women, people of color, and people in the LBGTQ community were not only welcome to join the church, but were welcome in leadership, ministry, and marriage. I have always loved that the main message that PCUSA churches teach is based around the grace of Jesus.
EYES WIDE OPEN: What we didn’t notice in our beloved church for quite a while was that the love and support poured out was for those who fit in a certain mold. Once we stepped in leadership roles, we began to see the roadblocks to inclusivity deep within the church. Once I entered into ministry (second career) I discovered that many members in the PCUSA churches and many leading our churches did not believe in belovedness and grace for all. And that is when I began pushing back and searching for understanding and ways to help others see what Jesus taught us.
And so, as I work to gain a more robust analysis of how ARC has impacted my faith, leadership, and institution I give thanks for my foundation. But I am no longer naïve about what lies deep in the hearts of many of the church members and Christian friends whom I assumed embraced the teachings of Jesus. And as I look out into our country and ask over and over again how can Christians act this way, I now have a better understanding of the fears and values that lie deep below their actions.
MOVING FORWARD: I am now in a stage of evaluating and analyzing every Christian book on my shelf, Christian movies and songs, sermons, mission opportunities, etc. I am asking church leadership more questions instead of retreating quietly. I am preaching and teaching more boldly and entering more conversations about people’s Christian scars, fears, and values. I am searching for answers and truth as I am listening to podcasts, reading everything I can get my hands on and searching for opportunities to see the world with clearer lenses. I am currently reading Jesus and the Disinherited, The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism, Field Notes for the Wilderness: Practices for an Evolving Faith – all which are opening my eyes to the practices of American churches which have nurtured ARC. I hope to try out the ARC Self Assessment and Common Table Method with a group I meet with weekly – friends who are in the process of deconstructing their faith.
My plan is to keep learning, digging deeper, eyes more open – but always remembering my belovedness and the belovedness of others.