Some days are shaped by vision and action steps that leave me feeling like we have traction and get to move forward with things that might just move the needle even the tiniest bit. We receive a grant to do a summer program with kids, a new person connects with our church and finds community, an opportunity presents itself and we get to lean in. People seem eager to participate and there is good energy. I recognize good things happening both in me and around me.
Other days, however, are defined by resistance and a sense of paralysis. How can we possibly think that what we have to offer is of any significance? We are swimming upstream and at every turn there is a hurdle. The list of people stepping away from all the things is growing and trauma and cynicism seem to be common touch points. Fatigue halts our steps.
On these days I get impatient and restless. Not only do I not have energy to serve a community, I feel numb and incredibly tired. Change within and without seems daunting.
On these days I have learned that I need to rest, drink water and eat something. Little, practical steps of taking care of myself.
On these days I also coach myself with a simple phrase “get the big picture ”.
This is not a ‘go big or go home’ sentiment or a motivational cheer of sorts. For me it is shorthand to look for the perspective at a higher level – to do a flyover of the present circumstances at 10,000 feet and look ahead at the trajectory of where this arch is going to land. It is doing the work of reminding myself that God’s good grace is going to carry the day and bring all things into God’s goodness.
Perspective work helps me to catch my breath and then sets the stage for me to do gratitude work. One of the quickest ways for me to turn from my restless striving of figuring out the next “fix it” step (both internally or externally) is to slow down and reflect on what I currently have going on. What do I already get to do? How do I already get to join God in doing life-affirming work? What opportunities do I already have before me? How is God currently changing me? I don’t’ have to sit too long with these questions before I am struck by how lucky I am to do I what I do in my little role in my faith community and as a child of God growing and transforming.
These moments to reflect on the end game and to be thankful for where I am in the present help keep me grounded and willing to stay hopeful for what God might have in store.
3 comments
My friend. This is so good. I wonder if what you describe is the invitation of the sabbath. Taking a leisurely step back to savor the beauty of God’s work, to remember whose and who we are, to reflect on what we’ve been able to be a part of. At bare minimum, I wonder if this shouldn’t be a weekly ritual for Reconciling Leaders.
I deeply appreciate your notice of the small things and the gratitude you engage for being able to practice those. A lesson for me to learn.
I love your creative ways of finding perspective, the “flyover” at 10,000 feet! The turning back to gratitude, and realizing the things that you get to do, and the Grace in the midst of it all. Thank you.🙏