Comments on: When the tension breaks

By: Lindsay Knox

Lindsay Knox — Fri, 22 Mar 2024 03:11:29 +0000

Good questions friend. Thanks. I have seen performative vulnerability deployed to manipulate so many times, that I often feel scared to even broach that with my team and colleagues. “I’m fine. It’s fine.” I hear myself saying this and I’m not sure if I am trying to convince them or myself! However, there have have been a few times when in a totally spontaneous moment I have let my guard down and my weakness shows through. It’s never planned. I don’t come into the conversation thinking that this is the moment I tell people where I am at, but it’s like all of a sudden it is coming out of my mouth before I can really think about it. It’s not pretty or eloquent, but I am sure it reads as authentic, because it is. I think my work is in getting to this place more quickly and often with the people in my life, especially at work, but in the personal realm too. When we see leaders speak with honesty, we have the permission to bring our authenticity into the room.

By: Jer Swigart

Jer Swigart — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 00:50:55 +0000

8 to 8, this one was deep, my friend. Especially the whole bit about opening up to others…inviting them into the reality that you were not okay. Say a little more on what this feels like for you? Does this practice occur only with those whom you trust, or is vulnerable self-disclosure becoming a part of your leadership journey as well? With your colleagues, your superiors, your team? I’m becoming captivated by the power of vulnerability, especially when leaders like you embody it…not performatively (because we’re good at that) but authentically. Would love to learn what you’re learning.

By: Meredith McKay

Meredith McKay — Fri, 08 Mar 2024 21:00:40 +0000

Phew! First and foremost, I found so much resonance with your words. Thank you for taking us along/into your emotional landscape in surprising and difficult discernment. I am curious about your pressing in with other leaders. What has that looked like for you? I wonder about the particular ways those relationships have been centering and sustaining, and how you sense and lean in further when a particular relationship can be sustaining for you. Mostly, I find myself wanting to hear more about your journey!

By: Nathan Geer

Nathan Geer — Wed, 06 Mar 2024 20:05:50 +0000

I found my chest getting tighter and tighter as I read! Thank you for investing in your team AND yourself. What a challenging responsibility.

By: Joanne Sorenson

Joanne Sorenson — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 19:18:47 +0000

Wow, thank you for being open and sharing these deep struggles. I can so relate, especially with the part about throwing your whole energy into a project, and just finding it more difficult for you personally. I am so glad that you are in the ongoing work with a counselor and finding deep compassion for yourself. This is so incredibly important. Peace through the journey. I look forward to learning more from you.

By: Steve Fawver

Steve Fawver — Sun, 03 Mar 2024 17:50:52 +0000

Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I appreciate the honesty about your journey and the wrestling you have experienced. I found myself drawn to the reminder to practice “self compassion” and the value of this practice. To not allow the press and expectations of others to cloud or overwhelm our image of self.

Thank you also for the call to be honest and real with those we can trust who can journey with us in the midst of the challenges we face.

I am so grateful to be able to be part of this experience with you and continue to learn from you as you offer your perspective. Thank you!