Self-Reflection Prompt for JOH Blog:

A thread throughout Module 4 was the link between power and the Christian faith. How did the faith that you inherited impact your relationship with and proximity to power? How did that relationship impact your approach toward our interfaith relatives? What might it look like for you to leverage, divest, or redistribute power as a practice of interfaith or intrafaith peacemaking?

I don’t even know where to start- Yes- I was born into a conservative American Christianity, without women in pastoral leadership or LGBTQ inclusion. Then, when we moved to Cairo, all of the sudden I was no longer in the religious, ethnic, or cultural majority. But power dynamics are very, very tricky, when you’re overseas as many in JOH are familiar. Being a white Westerner ascribes unearned privileges and power. You get to jump the line ahead of locals. You get preferential treatment often. First choice access to medical care and nicer hospital rooms. You are seen as more important. You have an embassy to protect you. You are “rich” even if in America, you are middle income range. You have desirable skin and eye color. You are glamorous or exotic- like the Americans on TV. This grooms foreigners to believe this. To believe we deserve to cut in front of locals, who perhaps are poor, dirty, uneducated, “unimportant.” To believe our prerogative is clearly more important than that of the throngs of over people vying for the same bus, or plane, or services. People assume you’re Christian, because most Americans “are.” So here’s the thing- we can wield our power for good things- we CAN pay better, so others in the service industry have more income (markups at the vegetable stand, employing housekeepers, drivers, cooks and gardeners- luxuries beyond reach in the US). We can tip the guys who fight to carry our suitcases to the taxi. My parents employed one housekeeper for over 18 years. Saida divorced her husband when he wanted to take a second wife. Moxie! My parents put her kids through university and gave her a retirement. Power. For Good. But I definitely believe the air of superiority is inescapable for most Western families in this position, mine included. We had access to services in Egypt that local Egyptians would never have access to. We had the audacity to believe that we could disregard the feelings of those who, truthfully, we devalued- poor, don’t speak English, unimportant. If we had a medical emergency, we’d get med-evacuated.

Flipside- I share this with this caveat- this is my truth, and I’m still unpacking it as I process power, white supremacy, implicit bias, etc. But- I DO think I can say I know how it feels to be discriminated against for being white, and being a woman. And this sounds odd, because for all the experiences I described above, as having significant power, I was also devalued and defrauded on the regular. Charged more for goods and services when I wanted the fair price. Haggled and harassed by folks hoping for additional tips or bribes. Constant incidences of “the man with the key isn’t here.” Being “randomly selected” to have luggage searched, and additional questioning. My parents having to make multiple, multi-hour trips to the government bureaucracy building, where they had to get stamps from at least ten guys behind desks, in order to secure a visa for this or that situation. Having to pay someone just to have a few squares of toilet paper. And the more sinister- constant, daily sexual harassment, and worse. Since I was ten. To adulthood. Can’t go anywhere without being stared at, whistled at, followed, hissed at. No matter what I was wearing, no matter what I was doing, no matter how friendly or culturally appropriate I was being. The stereotypes of white, American women are dominated by porn culture. So, we are objectified as such. And I should say- this is a violent, patriarchal culture that victimizes Egyptian Women to all extremes as well, and has been a major point of contention bubbling to the surface since the uprising of the Arab Spring. It’s not safe to travel on public transportation, emotionally or even physically. Many Egyptian women have no option. But, we walked, biked and taxi’d most places. My family didn’t have a car, like most Embassy, military or oil families did. I’ve had a lot of therapy to work through the trauma of years of harassment, etc. for something I was born with- a white, female body and blue eyes.

Segueing into the religious power dialogue. So, I actually loved living in a diverse environment. The call to prayer was both beautiful, haunting, and annoying- remember I was just a kid trying to get some sleep when the early call goes off outside my window! But mostly I loved seeing how the culture lived out its predominant faith in all the expressions we see of American Christianity. The hyper-orthodox. The hyper-zealous. The daily mosque crowd because it’s just “what we do.” The meh crowd. The wealthy who would eat pork while traveling, drink alcohol…. Those who fasted during Ramadan and those who only sort of did. Teammates who would step off the court to eat if the sun went down during volleyball practice. Not all Muslims are the same. Christianity obviously predated Islam in Egypt (in fact, the Coptic Orthodox Church has a looong tradition of holy sites where they believe Jesus performed miracles as a child, stories we in the West know nothing about.) But, there is significant tension and discrimination from the dominant Muslim powers over the minority Coptic Christians (and evangelicals, there is a small but healthy population of Evangelical Egyptians). You can build a mosque virtually anywhere, but if you want to renovate a bathroom in a church, saddle up for months even years of bureaucracy and roadblocks. So, while in the US, Christian v. Muslim relationships are predominantly a white v. brown situation, in Egypt, the ethnic situation was different. Muslims in Egypt are historically Arab. Christians are historically of the Coptic ethnicity, not just religion. They are derived from Ancient Egyptians, Greeks, Macedonians,… everyone else who traversed the land. Their Coptic language is also a mix of those ancient languages. So, the power dynamic is similar to tribalism as much as religion, as is the source of much conflict around the world. I could say more, but my church was an English speaking, multi-demoninational congregation with folks from all over the world. We also had a large African refugee population, who fled violence and landed in Egypt. People with darker skin are seen as less in the eyes of the dominant culture (which is brown). So, African refugees flee violence, to come to Egypt, to be further discriminated against for their darker skin and often Christian roots. Those that came to our church were welcomed, however, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the tentacles of racism infiltrated there as well. It was not very common for American families and African refugee families to comingle. So, again here we see racial division within an international church, within a country context of religious and racial discrimination as well… so complicated.

Fast forward, I also lived in Utah for several years, again, a religious minority amongst a predominantly Mormon population, where there is clear discrimination from Mormon majority towards non-mormon neighbors, even if you have the same skin color. Sorry, your kid’s not invited to the birthday party because you aren’t Mormon.

Where do I find myself in all this? I think my big takeaway from all my years within these different contexts is that it seems that human nature is for the dominant group to withhold power from the minority groups. Whatever and whoever they are. I FULLY affirm and agree that Christianity has a sordid history that we must account for, and I do not exempt myself from White Privilege just because I know what it’s like to be the minority elsewhere. I think Rene’s charge to pay attention to who benefits from policies, decisions, and institutions, and call those into question. In terms of dismantling Christian Nationalism and its stranglehold on our country,… I’m struggling with where to start. Because I can’t gain traction yelling with strangers online, but I also can’t have productive conversations with family members without significant pain. Power ultimately does corrupt, and there are so many layers.