Is this it? Is this all there is to life? These were the questions that consumed my every waking moment. I had a house, a car, a good job, and seemingly all the trappings by which society measures success. “Why can’t you just be satisfied?” was my mother’s answer to my search for more meaning to life. But the search for more meaning to life was all consuming, everything seemed meaningless. To think we walked around the planet for 70+ years and then crumbled into dust just made no sense. 

I wasn’t born into a family that followed a religious pathway, the exception being that all babies were christened in the Church of England at 6 weeks old. I never saw anyone pray and we only went to church if invited to attend a wedding.

I always prayed, I don’t know how I knew about prayer, but it was something I did in secret.

My earliest memory of religion was when an uncle married a Catholic girl. I had no idea what that meant, but from the whispered conversations among the grown ups I gathered it was not an ideal situation. Worse still was the children of that marriage had to be raised Catholic! I was desperate to know what it meant, but it was clearly on the list of topics to be avoided like the plague.

By the time I reached 28, the search for meaning hit breaking point. For 6 months, I had what I would call a dark night of the soul when life felt bleak and pointless.

A friend from work suggested I make an appointment with a local clairvoyant that she had experience with. It was with reluctance that I went, but it became a turning point in my life. This lovely lady sat in her kitchen and relayed messages from my ancestors about things that I had no knowledge of, but that would later be confirmed by my family. This confirmation then gave me reason to believe in the accuracy of other things that were given. Here was proof that the soul lives on and proved to me that there was more to life than the pursuit of material things.

The experience set me on a life long pursuit for spiritual knowledge that led to the discovery of Christward Ministry and the mystical teachings of the Reverend Flower A. Newhouse, who wrote: Those who follow a mystical path are desirous of knowing God, not through belief but through firsthand and direct contact. Striving for a greater union with God brings a person deeper devotions and insights, which illumine their consciousness. When one achieves this, he or she knows peace, a resurgence of transformation and joy.

A time arrives in the life of every true seeker when it is not enough to simply believe in God. The greatest need is to know God.

I had come home! Finally I found the path and the word that filled the void – Mysticism. The Mystical path has given me an embodied, sacred relationship with all creation, be that the beauty of a flower or the beauty of a young soul that God has placed in my path through my work in the juvenile justice system. The realization that every soul and every experience I encounter is filled with God’s spirit deepens and informs my capacity to be of service. It was a long journey, but one that has led to a life that now overflows with meaning!

Image Source: www.questhaven.org