I am from Northern Ireland. I was born into a ‘side’. My side was Protestant, and from an early age, I heard ‘you can’t trust a Catholic’, a phrase many Protestant children would have had subliminally engrained in their beliefs. We went to our protestant schools and Catholic’s to theirs. We didn’t do Irish dancing, celebrate St. Patricks Day, learn Irish language or Irish history. People’s names and ‘looks’ indicated their religion. ‘Were they Catholic or Protestant?’, was always the first thought in my mind whether I wanted it there or not.
As a child, most violence I observed was on television, but it still had an impact creating fears in ordinary everyday life. I was 17 before I first visited Belfast, despite it being only 15 miles from our family home. Army patrols, security scares and bombed buildings became a regular reality as I journeyed into college in the early 1990’s. Bag checks, examining pockets for incendiary devices in shops and being on constant observation for suspicious activity was our cultural training. It’s only recently I realised how abnormal that was, but at the time it was ordinary life!
The mid 1990’s saw preparations towards the Peace agreement and from my memory, it was a very vulnerable time with a tense atmosphere of scepticism and fear. Upon reflection I realise how brave and hope filled the peace builders were, because speaking to the ‘other side’ provoked backlash and anger. Change didn’t come quickly either, it took many tiny steps building trust and belief in people and their communities that change could actually happen. Thankfully it did, and our country is very different for the children growing up today.
Yet what I have come to learn about reconciliation, is that peace can come to a community, but real change still must happen in the individual. I always prided myself, that I didn’t have the prejudice I saw in others. Yet, when I moved to England my eyes were opened to prejudices, I didn’t even know I had! In N.Ireland, I was a passive observer of the peace and reconciliation process, I enjoyed the benefits without the effort. But when I left the only environment I knew, life looked different. In England I encountered people from diverse cultures with beliefs and thinking different to my own. The world was bigger than Protestant and Catholic, and what looked like difference between the two, unexpectedly became very similar.
Through these experiences, I entered a personal journey of peace and reconciliation, and my life has changed so much. I currently belong to an Anglo-Catholic congregation in an ethnically diverse Parish, and when I go to Mass on Sunday morning, I smile at how God is continuing to change my heart and move me in a completely new direction, to places I would never have gone and be with people who are different to me.
In many ways, being in England has given me space from the cultural challenges of N.Ireland allowing me to reflect, reconsider and reconcile. But I recognise that the biggest challenge may be in the future when I return to my beloved Ireland, will I be a meaningful influence towards peace and reconciliation? I hope so. (Photo: St Patrick Statue, Slieve Patrick, Co.Down)
2 comments
I love this! The original basis of the Anglican Church was, of course, to be a middle way between Catholicism and Protestantism. You are so right that reconciliation has to be rooted in individuals, only then can a change in culture occur. In the 12 step programmes, one of the things that we acknowledge is that humility is ‘giving up the right to be right’ and it is such a hard thing to let go of, yet so simple. As we let go of that right, we find that grudges, resentments and prejudices begin to ebb away and, rather than missing them, we find that God replaces them with all the good things that they have been blocking. I’m an unashamedly very catholic Anglican but, with the gradual dawning of humility as I surrender my defensiveness and pride, I am learning to accept so many expressions of faith that would once have seen me running for the hills. Who is to say that ‘Shine Jesus Shine’ and incense don’t belong together after all?
Thank you Franceska, it was really interesting to read your thoughts. I have come from a very varied faith tradition but I’ve come to see God in the people rather than the tradition. I very much agree with you that when we let go of the control and prejudices, God brings freedom and a beautiful creativity!
Our church is also starting a new contemporary worshipping community alongside the Anglo- Catholic and I am part of both congregations. It will be an interesting journey to see if incense and contemporary worship can have a place together and if people will embrace that idea! I hope so because I have come to value its symbolism a lot.