Describe who or what has most shaped your understanding of reconciliation.
White.
Male.
Christian.
If I’m totally honest about this question, I have to start here. As I think about reconciliation and what has shaped and formed what I know in my mind and somewhat in my body, the largest and loudest voice(s) are those of white men who are from the Christian faith. The product of that influence included all the classic categories of being separated from God, Jesus doing what He did to “reconcile” me the sinner, and so on. It was wildly self-centered and individualistic.
About 5 years ago, our staff made the commitment to journey together on a path of learning and education about race, whiteness and what it means to be in these bodies. We’ve read over a dozen books, intentionally put our bodies in places they didn’t normally go, and engaged in conversation to this end. One of the first books we read was from a fellow Covenant pastor named Daniel Hill. I remember vividly when he invited the reader to take an inventory of the voices that inform you. Podcasts, books, movies, sermons, etc. This was all at once embarrassing and liberating. I was embarrassed at the lack of diversity in the voices that have shaped me. I was embarrassed that up to that point, it really didn’t matter or ever cross my mind. I was also liberated from ignorance and not seeing. It has launched me into a new season of becoming, growth, repentance and opening.
Reconciliation is no longer a category that only matters to an individual and their standing before God. Rather it also about me and my neighbor. It’s about the historic relationship of white (mostly Christian) immigrants and African’s and all of their children. It’s about these same white Christians and the indigenous people they encountered. It’s about Republicans and Democrats. It’s about my brothers and their wives. It’s about the Evangelical church and LGBTQ people. It’s about humans and the earth we find ourselves on. It’s about immigrants and those that see themselves as “native” but who are actually also immigrants.
To reconcile means: to restore to friendship or harmony. To settle or resolve.
In my mind, it means to bring peace. One of my favorite definitions of this word peace/shalom is from Tim Keller (who not ironically is a white, male, Christian) who says, “universal wholeness, flourishing and delight.”
For the first 35-40 years of my life, there was a pretty homogenous group of people who informed and shaped my understanding of this word. I’m grateful for the new conversation partners that include BIPOC voices and LGBTQ voices, and now all of your voices. I suppose I’m proverbially raising a glass to an ever expanding understanding of what it means to be reconciled and to be a reconciling presence in the world.
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5 comments
Mandi that spinach comment- amazing. Micah so excited to be in group with you, I was really struck by how intentional you and your colleagues have been on your journey. Thank you. What a hard gift you’ve given yourselves.
Thanks for this Micah! Strong start…especially re: truly defining the origins of your fundamental understanding and, therefore, experience/practice of reconciliation. Because you include Keller’s definition, I wonder about two other definitions. First, how would those white, male, Christians whom you initially learned from define reconciliation? Second, how would those more diverse voices that you’re listening to now define it? Third, how would the latter’s definition compare/contrast from Keller?
Micah, your story of doing an information inventory made me think of a friend who told me, “Well, if all you ever ate was spinach, and all you ever saw anyone else eat was spinach, you shouldn’t be especially surprised or offended if I told you that you have a bit of spinach in your teeth.” What we consume shapes us 🙂 I love that you bring Tim Keller in, that you continue to find him to have wisdom and insight — and that you now have a broader context of voices that he is speaking with inside your head. Thanks for including us among those, I’m looking forward to more conversation.
Mandi that spinach comment- amazing. Micah so excited to be in group with you, I was really struck by how intentional you and your colleagues have been on your journey. Thank you. What a hard gift you’ve given yourselves.
Thanks for sharing, Micah! I had a similar experience in reading “White Awake” and being confronted with the lack of diversity in who I was reading, following, and listening to when I did that inventory. I’m so grateful for the ways that my faith continues to expand and deepen as I learn from a more diverse set of teachers.