I grew up in a family of five—I (Linda) am the oldest, followed by my two younger brothers (Matthew and Paul). What began as a happy childhood was sideswiped by drugs as my brothers entered adolescence and started exploring the world of illegal substances. Our happy little family was never the same. As we turned eighteen and left the nest one by one, my brothers and I repeatedly expressed our desire for reconciliation with each other. We hoped we could find a way—at the very least—to honor each other despite our marked differences in life choices.
Fast-forward. We are now adults. I had returned to school to pursue my masters degree. My youngest brother had become the quintessential drug addict and had embraced the lifestyle—he was sleeping on the streets, was stealing food, was in and out of the hospital, was on the grid then he was off the grid. And our relationship was at an all time low. I was struggling to figure out how to interact with my baby brother. There was a nagging sense in me that he still deserved some type of honor, but I couldn’t locate a reason to show him another ounce of kindness, care or concern.
As it came time to choose a thesis, I picked one with my little brother in mind. I wanted to imagine Jesus interacting with him on the corner of a busy street. My goal was to try to locate my brother’s basic human dignity. This paper rocked my world as I began to explore the concept of human dignity, which originates from God—not out of our own doing— and is of God because we are made in God’s own image and likeness.
When I started my thesis, I was longing for a reason to honor my brother, despite his life choices. And when I submitted my thesis, I had come to believe that every person—including my brother—has a portion of God’s image or likeness in his or her being, and on that ground alone deserves to be honored even when respect has not been earned.
This was the first big mile marker in my pursuit and experience of reconciliation. Through this process, I learned that my initial read on the world is not necessarily God’s perspective. This experience intrigued my imagination in regards to the reconciliation God can do in and through creation.
Shortly after I submitted my thesis, my brother overdosed and died. There is not an easy sentence to summarize the grief of loosing a brother, but throughout my grieving process, I have been on the lookout for God’s image in the memories of my brother. And through this process, have been trained to look for the image of God in all humanity. What an incredible marker of value!
6 comments
Thank you for sharing this heart moving story, and your learnings through this journey with Paul. I appreciate how you have shown how your perspective changed. My heart tells me that God’s perspective is often different – far different – than ours, and it leaves me to wonder how we can open our hearts more fully to God’s perspective in the multitude of experiences life brings us?
Oh Linda. Thank you for this. What an incredible, vulnerable reflection…one that truly exposes the origins of your life, love, and leadership as a peacemaker. I’m moved by the invitation that you offer to recognize the dignity in another even if/when they haven’t earned your respect. I wonder how this ties directly into your pressing question for this journey? It seems that within the church, there has been a breakdown in our ability to see the imago dei in one another. I’m eager to learn how your ability to see and celebrate the imago dei in your brother transcends into those you’re seeking to reconcile.
Thank you Linda. You can add to your list of descriptions of yourself: Sister. What a sister you are, to continue to seek to find the common humanity and that of God in everybody.
Thank you for sharing such a tender part of your story. I’m moved by your desire to honor your brother in the midst of such turmoil and pain and how you sought God’s heart for him and allowed that to shape your heart.
Linda, thanks for sharing, I really appreciated your line ‘I learned that my initial read on the world is not necessarily God’s perspective’ it’s so important to challenge ourselves on this. Thank you.
Linda, Thank you! Your courage and strength to even ASK the question reveals a true heart that seeks God. Bless you for your stark look at your painful, heartbreaking circumstance. That square look into the darkness of addiction and forgotten Belovedness softened your heart to hear God’s invitation to dignity. I hope you continue to listen to your intuition and look for the image of God in each person.